Transcript:
Welcome back to the Milk Minute, everybody. Yes. Welcome. We’re very happy to be here and we have a quickie bit of goodie for you today. Yeah. You know, we got, so instead of doing a question, this whole episode is just gonna be answering a question.
Yeah. We get questions a lot, but every once in a while we get a question that really highlights a huge gap in one of the topics that we’ve covered, and we’ve talked a lot about weaning. But we seem to have forgotten a very important piece. Yeah, we haven’t talked all of the bits of weaning. So one of our patrons, Christina, sent us a message kind of asking if we could focus more on the end of weaning and talk about sort of some of the practical stuff, like, you know, what happens when you feel pain and engorgement, but also a lot of the emotional stuff too.
So we’re gonna do a little bit of that today, but first, let’s, let’s thank a patron. Yes, we have a new Dairy Queen and their name is Zilpha and they’re from Woodenville, Washington. And we are so happy to have you in our Patreon, and we have a lot of great content coming your way. Yeah. And before we get into it, I also wanted to let you all know that I did some interviews for other podcasts that you should listen to.
She’s branching out everybody. I am. I’m saying yes more and then regretting it when it comes to time to do the thing. Maureen’s saying yes, and I’m leaning into a hard no season. I actually really love that. For us though, it’s a good balance. You know, it’s different so you can hear an interview of me on episode 82 of the Womb Wisdom Podcast where we talk a lot about being fat in pregnancy, how that affects your healthcare, birth, lactation, kind of all the stuff.
We went all over the place and it was super fun. And then coming up, I have interviews on the Bonger Baby Podcast. The New Little Life podcast and the Labor Lessons podcast. Oh my gosh, I didn’t know about the last one. Yeah, so those are all recorded already. I’m not totally sure when they’re coming out.
You know, everybody does it the way we do apparently. But I think, I think they’re all coming up in the next month. Or maybe they’re out already and I just haven’t noticed. Great. But I’ll post on our social media when they’re out so you guys can listen if you’d like to, because I got to branch out much further into like pregnancy and.
For a lot of those and the Baby podcast, we talked about weaning without guilt, so that’s kind of relevant to today. Mm-hmm. That was a great conversation. That was with a D.O. Who Lives in Spain. That was super fun. What? I know it was just like, it’s called baby. Yeah. But. She’s from Spain. I don’t know if she’s from there, but I think she lives there now.
Okay. Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know. Okay. I talk to a lot of people. I also have some other interviews coming up, so I’ll let you know when I do this. Wow. You get a sticker. Thank you. I really appreciate it. In, in podcast land, it’s called Cross Promotion. Yeah. And you’re like helping out another podcast while promoting your own.
Mm-hmm. So thank you so much for promoting our podcast and doing all that legwork. I really appreciate it. I also, Gosh, I don’t know if I mentioned this. I had an interview with Rolling Stone. Oh my God, yes. Please share this. Okay, but can I start though? Yes. So I’m like, Where the hell was I? Was I at Ikea or something crazy?
Yes, something like that. I was like deep in something. Yeah. I could not get out in the maze of Ikea, in the maze of IKEA or something moving something. There was like furniture involved and Maureen texts me and she’s like, Hey Rolling Stone wants to interview me about the abortion ban in West Virginia.
They’re looking for other people to interview as well. Do you have a minute? And I was like I am so sorry, but I absolutely do not at this moment have anything to give you, and that was like I, I might regret that forever, not taking a moment to speak to it, but Maureen absolutely crushed it. And it is so good, and we will link the article in the show notes if you would like to read it.
But what was the experience like and how in the hell did they find you? Yeah. Okay, so that was, that was weird and, and surprising to me. So this wonderful reporter, I think her name is Tessa Stewart just cold emailed me, you know, and I, I get the impression she sent out a lot of emails just to people when she Googled, like birth abortion, West Virginia who came up.
And I do list on my website that I do doula services for people getting abortions or for other pregnancy loss. And so I assume that’s why I popped up. And she was just like, Hey, I’m doing this article about the lawsuit going on right now from, you know, one of the pharmaceutical companies that makes the abortion medications suing the state of West Virginia for restricting the trade of medication, essentially.
And she wanted to talk to me because she wanted like a human experience of how the current law is affecting. Not just about like laws and lawsuits. And I was like, I don’t know if I’m the best person to talk to. But yeah, I guess I have time. I’ll give you some other names though, just in case. Cuz I don’t have like a big practice.
I’m not like in a hospital. Mm-hmm. But I do do a lot of miscarriage support. You know, I do have patients who have to have, you know, services that have been affected by this. So we chatted for like an hour, literally while I was driving from like one client’s house to another. Cuz that’s the only time I had and I was like, sorry if I drop you cuz I crossed a mountain.
Just how it’s welcome to my life. Yeah. And it was a really good conversation. I. You know, I talked a lot about how, mostly how people are being treated when they’re going in for miscarriage services or with pregnancies where they need a termination and how their care has changed and also how clinicians are kind of scared.
To give those services now. Yeah. Because they’ve made it like a felony or something, right? Yeah. So that was actually a great conversation. And then I read the article and I was like, oh, she literally started like with my name. Oh my God. Which I expected just to literally, I expected to be like a sentence deep in the article somewhere.
So I was a little surprised. But I think it was a great article. I think it covered a lot of different aspects of the issue right now. Yeah, and I’m happy I did it and since then I’ve gotten a lot of funny like random messages of people being like, is this you? Like, I haven’t talked to you in 10 years, but I do read Rolling Stone.
You’re like, it is me actually. And I’m a rockstar now. Yeah. I got one of those messages last night from someone I used to be in like the environmental activist world with like 10 years ago. You’re like, they’re legit. I haven’t talked to him in maybe six years, and he was like, is that you? That’s not what you were doing last time I talked to you.
They’re like, well, it’s what we’re doing now. Yes. Thank you podcast. Thank you. Great for being the only person, probably, well, one of the only people in West Virginia who truly does like emotional and physical support for abortion and miscarriage. Mm-hmm. And also great job on your search engine optimization on your website.
Thanks cuz that is not easy. For real. I was like, ooh. Hard work of things. I don’t know how to do, I guess. Paid off. It’s working. It’s weird. Anyway, so yeah. Crazy times. Yeah, for my life right now, well, I mean this pales in comparison, but I, I was actually published in the West Virginia University Daily Athenaeum like their little newspaper.
That’s awesome. Because our coliseum like the big building. Yeah. Where they play basketball. That looks like a shell on top. Mm-hmm. Like, you might have seen it on tv. It’s kind of a famous building. They finally got a Mamava nursing pod. Oh, cool. Yeah. And so apparently the university has put like 12 of these.
Yeah. Nursing stations, not the pods. Mm-hmm. But the nursing stations around, and this one is, they spent a pretty penny on it, like over 20 grand. Mm-hmm. Because it’s ADA compliant and it’s pretty large. Yeah. Which is really nice. And so my whole thing I, she actually took my quote and made it the title of the piece and I said, oh, you love that.
You’re like, I didn’t plan that. Exactly. Right. And now everybody, it’s the first thing they read. Yeah, it’s it. So I said, full court press on breastfeeding promotion at WVU I love that. So cheesy, but. Hilarious. It works. But my thing was I requested that they put a sign outside the pod. Mm-hmm. That said, you are welcome to nurse your baby anywhere in the Coliseum.
Mm-hmm. But you may also nurse them here, or That’s a good idea. Just because we wanna make sure that they know that it’s not like to shame people out of public nursing. It’s just an extra try a safe space. Yeah, A safe space. And she was like, how do you think people are gonna use this? And I gave her like five examples.
You like literally to feed their babies, change their diapers, take a moment to have their toddler not run away from them. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I was like, and also might be your first night out with your baby and you might need just a space to regroup. Yeah. How I use those spaces now with Lyra, because she is fast.
And I don’t need to nurse her in private, but if they’re empty, I’m like, I would like a minute to close a door. And just let go of your hand. Yeah. Oh God. Especially at like a coliseum where there’s people everywhere. Yes, yes. Yeah. So anyway, look at us being published. One of us in Rolling Stone and one of us in a small little college newspaper.
But you know, hey, a girl can dream. I, I think that this is just the. Yeah, I, I think we’re gonna be seeing more and more of those press opportunities for ourselves. Mm-hmm. Whether or not we wanna take them. It’s scary because it is, you know, You and I have both been in the newspaper before a couple times, and sometimes you have a conversation and you read the article and you’re like, that’s not what that conversation was.
Yeah. You chose the one sentence I said very poorly to publish. Right. And you also spelled my name wrong and didn’t get my credentials right. Yep. And. Great. Now that’s out there forever. Yep. They listed that I was a professor at WVU and I was like, exactly. I’m not exactly anymore. Yeah. But thank you. It’s perfect.
But this one, the Rolling Stone one, she actually quoted me correctly. Didn’t mess up credentials, didn’t misspell my name. And I was like, I guess this is the difference between a, that is West Virginia newspaper. That is. And also they catch you outta nowhere. It’s not like you have time to prepare an entire Oh no.
Because they get their assignments like the day before their deadline. Yeah. And they’re like, well, I could talk today because my I have to hand this in at five and I need to put 500 words in. And you’re like, it’s two. Yeah. And you’re like, and they’re like, yeah, I. I’ve got a full clinic. Why? And they’re like, so abortion.
And you’re like, this is, I don’t wanna sound like an idiot. I’d like to put my stuff together here. I was very nervous because it’s a very it’s an important topic and one people have very strong feelings about. Yeah. You don’t want to do it a disservice. No. And I wanted to be respectful. And accurate.
And also say important things. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then I actually had an appointment with my psychologist that afternoon, and so all I did was cry about the interview and meltdown. Yeah. And I was like, this was so convenient. I’m so glad you could be here for my crisis after a huge interview. Well, I’m proud of you.
Thank you for taking one for the team when I so clearly could not do it that day, and I’m glad you did it. You did a better job than I would’ve ever done with that. So great job. Thanks. Yeah. Well, you know, Since we’re on the topic of emotional support, do you wanna just dive into our episode? Yeah, let’s do it.
Well wait, let’s take a minute to thank a sponsor, and then we’re gonna dive right into our episode about emotional support and weaning.
Imagine a world where you seek lactation care and it’s easy and someone greets you at the door and they’re nice to you and they give you a hot cup of tea and let you sit on the couch and talk about all the issues, not just the breastfeeding issues. What a cozy fantasy Is there anywhere that’s real? Oh, it’s real girl.
It’s real, and I’ve been building it for quite a long time. My business is called Breastfeeding for Busy Moms, and me and every member of my team are trained in our three major tenants which is accessibility, kindness, and personalization. If you wanna book a consult with Heather or anyone else on her team, you should head over to breastfeeding for busy moms.com.
We do accept some limited insurance and we’d be happy to walk you through it if you wanna give us a call. And that number’s on Google. So go sit on the cozy couch with Heather at Breastfeeding for Busy Moms. Love you guys.
Well, we’re ready to continue, but you’re not. You wanna stop? So let’s talk about that a little bit. Yeah. Let’s talk about those complicated feelings that are stirred within you when your body really would like to be on its own now and not You know, rely on another human to make it feel better when you’re full.
Yeah. And, you know, be able to go on trips without packing a hundred things or worrying about what your breasts are gonna do. It’s okay. It’s okay. But it’s difficult. And I, I think the most important thing that we’re gonna touch on today is that, weaning is both physically and emotionally complicated.
It’s not ever gonna be just one experience that everybody has. It’s not a universal experience. You know, some people might decide to wean and they’re like, I actually immediately feel better, didn’t experience any physical pain, and I love you. You’re probably not listening to this episode. Mm-hmm. But that’s wonderful.
And it’s also possible, right? It’s possible for this to be a very normal, not complicated experience. And it’s also possible that you thought it was gonna be not complicated. Tried to wean, it got complicated. So you started nursing again. Yeah. And now you’re like, wait, what? What is happening? And we hear from a lot of people like that who are like, I just thought we could stop.
Yeah. And we didn’t. And that was six months ago. And, and, you know, We go over a lot of the physical advice of this in some other episodes, but I wanna reassure you just right now, wherever you are, however old your baby is, none of that matters. You’re allowed to wean. Yep. You’re allowed to wean from breastfeeding at two days old.
You’re allowed to do it at two years old, at four years old. I don’t care. Because ultimately we support your choice to do what you want with your body and breastfeeding is not an obligation. Right. Absolutely not. And your baby loves you more than it loves your milk. And you are important and valid and whatever reason you have for wanting to wean is valid.
Yes. You don’t need to have some like medical diagnosis or crisis. Oh. To be like, and this is why I weaned, cuz I just couldn’t do it anymore cuz the doctor told me not. No. You could literally wake up one day and be like, I’m done. And that is, that’s fine. That’s fine. Yeah. You know, you do sometimes have to take longer to stop than you would like, right?
Depending on how much milk you’re making and all of that. But it’s, it’s good to get a realistic idea of how that’s gonna feel possibly. And what I like to tell people is, when you’re weaning, honestly, plan it, like the postpartum, because the hormonal changes that you’re gonna experience are very similar to the first two weeks after you have a baby.
Yeah, that’s a good point. Mm-hmm. And you’re just having very big hormonal like drops in your hormonal levels. You’re gonna have so much less oxytocin. Mm-hmm. Which is the happy hormone. And a lot of people get weaning blues. I did. Yeah. I didn’t with Griffin, but he was four when we weaned, you know, and it was such a gradual process that I don’t think that ever hit me. However, you know, while I can say as a rule of thumb, the slower you do it, the less emotional you’ll be because of hormones.
That might not be true for you. But if you’re planning to wean fast, also plan for this hormonal change to hit you hard. Mm-hmm. And make space like protect your space, protect your healing. Because that’s what it really is when you wean. Yeah. You are transitioning, you’re getting to a new stage in your life.
Your relationship with your baby is transitioning, and it’s hard, especially weaning those toddlers. It’s hard to say no because they can let you know very clearly that they’re upset and they’re upset specifically because you don’t wanna nurse them. And also, can we just highlight the fact that a lot of times we’re weaning at a time where our relationship with our toddler is already strained.
Mm-hmm. And so we have to kind of separate or not the fact that we’re weaning because we just can’t take it anymore. We can’t take the abuse, we can’t take the touch, the touch, the demand. And that’s fine, you know? But I think a lot of people get stuck in feeling like they’re punishing their toddler by not giving it to them.
But we have to kind of separate that in our mind and work critically to really make sure that we are weaning in such a way that doesn’t feel like a punishment. Mm-hmm. That way. Fold, you know, because yeah, you won’t last. You know, a lot of times people will do that for a whole day and it’s like the worst day ever.
And then they just give in and then they nurse all night long and the next day, and then they’re like, now I suck. And then it makes the next try harder. And then I’m a terrible parent because I can’t stick with anything. And then we’re in this weird loop where weaning is the one thing we wanna do, but it’s the one thing that’s giving us anxiety and also confirming the fact that we’re quote, Failing as a parent.
Yeah. And we’re also like, and I don’t even like my kid right now. Yeah. It’s hard. Absolutely. And, you know, to, to put it in perspective, I think especially if you’re a first time parent or you’re only a parent to young children this might be the first time you’re really saying no to your kid. But honestly it’s good the first of 20 million times, and you know, it’s, it’s not gonna be the only time you say no to them about something they deeply care about.
And you know, you’re gonna have this experience many more times, which kind of puts it in perspective. You’re like, oh, it’s not the end of the world. It’s just like, The first step in a lot of new changes and boundaries. Mm-hmm. And I get it. It’s really hard because it is. It is really the first time you’re having a interaction with your child where they are interacting back.
They’re telling you a want or a need they have and you’re saying no. Yeah. And you can’t explain it in detail because their brains don’t work that way. Right. Like, you have to find a way to keep it simple without making it feel like a punishment. Yeah. It’s okay to feel bad about that, and it’s also okay to banish.
Around that. You know, like I told my son yesterday that no, he could not come to work with me. And he had a full blown toddler meltdown about it. He’s seven. Mm-hmm. He had a full blown, like on the floor crying meltdown, you know? And I was really thinking like, yeah, this is like, we just experienced this over and over and over.
And in his mind, coming to work with me was very, something he deeply cared about. He wanted to spend time with me. And it’s hard to say no when your kid is like, I really wanna spend time with you. Oh yeah, I do this because I love you. You know? And, and that’s, that’s very similar to saying no to breastfeeding.
They’re like, I wanna spend time with you. I wanna touch you, I wanna hold you. I want to show you. I love you. And you’re like, no, no. And it’s okay to set those boundaries. It’s honestly why I recommend people start with small boundaries when your baby is a year old. Mm-hmm. Because it makes setting larger ones so much easier.
You practice setting them and holding consistency for your child, and they also understand what no means. You’re, you have to teach them that, right? We’re not born knowing what no means. Yep.
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And, and one of the more difficult things, right, is on top of all this emotional stuff, sometimes you physically hurt when you’re weaning too.
You’re like, I actually want to breastfeed now, even though I know I don’t because my boobs are aching. Mm-hmm. You’re like, three hours ago when I wasn’t full, I was full on weaning and now I’m uncomfortable and I’m looking at my toddler and I’m like, yes. Or not toddler, just baby, and be like, you have the, you have the power.
You have the power. Or I’ve even had some people look at their husbands or partners and be like, could you just suck on these for a little bit? They could. Just to relieve some of the pressure. Yeah. So I don’t have to get my pump out and I don’t want to stimulate too much. And the partners were like, all right.
They like crack their knuckles. Let’s get in there. Honestly, it’s not a bad option. And I do wanna quickly review, like we’ve talked about this before, but if you’re weaning, this kind of stuff might come up. What you do when you’re feeling pain, discomfort, engorgement, clogs, et cetera. Because in ordinary circumstances we’re like, ah, yes, remove milk, decrease inflammation, but we don’t really want you removing milk if you’re weaning.
You all know by now cuz you’ve listened to us, say it a zillion times, you remove milk to get more milk and you’re like, I don’t want more. Thank you. Yes. We’re leaning into the pressure and discomfort. Mm-hmm. Which is hard to do when we’re feeling emotionally vulnerable. Right. And especially if you’re at the point where you’re like, I have spent weeks cutting feeds and slowly reducing how much I express and I’m done.
I don’t want to express any more milk. What do you do? And you really do have to expect some discomfort. You can use ice. Cabbage leaves honestly sound silly, but once again, feel wonderful. I love them. Yes. Take something like ibuprofen. If you don’t wanna take a medication, you could do herbally, something like turmeric something anti-inflammatory.
If you are very prone to mastitis as a preventative measure, you could be doing probiotics, you could be doing some food support like garlic. Or echinacea just to make sure your body is ready to manage bacterial issues and you still might get mastitis. But in that case we’re gonna say, you know, treat it like you normally would, except we’re still not expressing milk unless you absolutely have to.
Mm-hmm. And you know, in cases of mastitis where people don’t know how to manage it and they stop expressing milk on that side, they’re gonna dry up on that side. And it’s painful, but it does happen. Yep. And we will link our mastitis episode in the show notes in case you wanna review that. Right. And so if you need to express, hand express, if possible, even sometimes like 20 milliliters of milk feels better to get out.
Yeah, it’s amazing you’ve said that before. I have, and I haven’t right now, it has been about 24 hours since I breastfed last. I feel fine right now. I’ll probably be a little bit sore by the time I get home today. But yeah, if like last time this happened, we were recording, I was like, okay, if I just get out like half an ounce, I’ll feel better.
And it does. It really does feel better. Yeah. That’s awesome. Yeah. And it’s a good reminder that it’s almost like when you’re engorged. Mm-hmm. You know, right after birth. And you think that if you fully express there will be like 10 ounces and there’s only half an ounce and you’re like, what the heck? And it’s inflammation a lot of times.
Exactly. It’s inflammation. So just. That little bit can help the inflammation sort itself out. Mm-hmm. And also it, it’s a lot of a mental thing too. Mm-hmm. Where you visually see it come out and you’re like, okay, where I did it, let’s move on. I’m gonna make it another 24 hours or whatever. Yeah. And where, you know, we’re gonna recommend you wear a bra.
That is not super tight. Please don’t put on your compression bra. Yeah. Supportive. Only do, do. Yeah. Something is supportive where you’re not gonna be flopping around. Your boobs won’t be like rubbing on fabric and getting stimulated, you know, and, and unfortunately I do have to tell you like just push through with those techniques.
Try it for 24 hours. Yep. And see where you’re at. If you’re like, this is manageable, another 24 hours, because usually after that first day or two, then you’re gonna start to see improvement. You can also, if you, especially if you took a long time to kind of wean down because you started at an oversupply and you are prone to mastitis sometimes.
I do recommend people take a Sudafed in the morning mm-hmm. Just to kinda help them along throughout the day. And this isn’t something that I want you to take like every day, but you could take No, but you could do it for like a week. Yeah, you could. Absolutely. You could. Especially during that first initial phase of weaning down.
Yeah. Or like if it’s the very last little. Yeah. And you’re having this discomfort we’re talking about. Yeah. Or especially if you’re weaning to go on a trip. Yeah. So we see this a lot. Yeah. Where people are like, I need to be done breastfeeding by the time I go to Palm Springs from Bachelorette party.
Mm-hmm. Legit. Yeah, that makes sense to me. So in that case, we might need to use Sudafed to speed things along a little bit. Yeah. And you could also use Benadryl. It’ll make you sleepy, but like, if you wanna take that before you go to. Just make sure your partner understands the assignment. Yes. That you might not wake up.
Yeah. You know, they’re like all those no-nos we tell you because they might reduce supply are kind of what we’re leaning into now. Yes. Go for it. We’re like, I know you’ve trained your brain to stay away from all these things for the last however long, but now we are flipping that. This is also not the time to stop taking your SSRIs or any mental health medications.
Please don’t please. Please make sure whatever system you use to remember to like support your mental health, whether it is medication, therapy, whatever. Make sure that is intact. And working before you start weaning. Yes. Before you start weaning. And also you might wanna schedule an appointment with your provider who prescribes that mm-hmm.
For around the time you are weaning, because you might need some breakthrough anxiety medication or, you know, just a little check-in when you’re in the middle of it. Because some people do experience, like Maureen said, the blues with weaning. Yeah. And so you want them to see you at your lowest. You know, and you can say, Hey, I’m in the middle of weaning, I am experiencing this.
Mm-hmm. I expect that it is transient and that it will go away, but is there anything you can give me to help me function during this time? Right. And you might need to change how much medication you’re taking, what medication, because you’re going to have consistently different hormonal levels and that just changes how your body manages medications.
Mm-hmm. Now, it’s not common, but some people do experience weaning depression for months after weaning. Yep. And it is a very good idea to make sure your healthcare provider is aware of what you’re doing. If you don’t have one you trust, make sure your partner is aware of that possibility. Oh yeah. This is a big one.
And make sure that they’re looking out for warning signs of depression, anxiety, psychosis, whatever. If you don’t have one of those, like who, who’s the next person you trust the most, who you know is looking out for you, and also expectations that partners have sometimes for what weaning is gonna look like, sometimes they are subconsciously counting down the days thinking they’re get their partner back. Mm-hmm.
Finally, you’re like, you’re actually getting a whole new person again. Right. Congratulations. Congratulations. It’s not gonna be what you think. And then, you know, if you do have some depression after they’re looking at you, like, I thought weaning was gonna make you feel better.
Oh yeah. And I have seen partners really be excited about weaning cuz they’re like, I’m gonna get my sex life back. Uhhuh. Yep, you said it. Yep. Especially because, you know, at most people figure out that breastfeeding does tend to lower your libido, you know, and a lot of people your wetness. Right. And a lot of, I do see a lot of partners who are like, I understand that and I will wait, but.
Sometimes there’s a limit to their patience. I have, I’m not gonna say any judgment about anything cause I don’t know your situation, but you wanna have that conversation with your partner where you’re gonna be like, Hey, weaning is a process. I’m not gonna say I’m weaning today. And then we’re gonna get a babysitter and just fuck all day.
Right. Because sometimes, and this is a sweeping generalization, but a lot of times, especially with male partners, a lot of how they function is like a switch. Mm-hmm. On off horny, not horny, you know, like happy, sad, you know, you say a switch, and now I’m just like visually seeing a boner as a light switch.
That’s basically what it is. If they have a boner and it’s up, they’re happy. If it’s down, they’re sad. And I’m sorry, I have to get myself under control. And it’s just so much more complicated with us. So they think like, weaning is over, switch is on, vagina will be wet again for me. Mm. Men, huh? Right.
There are absolutely men like that, that many of you live with, I’m sure. And you know, I think a lot of the time it’s just that, that they don’t have the same experiences you do, so they can’t understand until you tell them. Right. Or you make them listen to this. Right? And that would be fine too if there’s any partners out there listening.
Thank you. Cuz we know you want to support the person in your life who’s breastfeeding. So you’re, you’re real MVPs you guys. Thank you. Yeah. Just expect that it’s a process. Expect that it’s gonna take at least two weeks for your hormones to feel more stable again. Maybe a. Maybe longer. It’s like when you come off birth control.
Mm-hmm. And you’ve been on birth control for years, and then you stop it. It takes a good three months before you’re like, all right, yeah, it’s me again. Yeah. And your metabolism’s changing. Everything’s changing. I always tell people, I’m like, just plan for the worst. And if it’s not that bad, great. You win.
Yeah. Like for postpartum, for weaning, I’m like, plan to be an emotional basket case. For a little bit plan. You know, I maybe even go as far as to plan the kind of support that I tell everyone to do postpartum. I’m like, could you ask for some meals in your freezer? Like maybe take a couple days off work, you know, look at your to-do list and take the things off that are not necessary, right?
Like you’re juggling balls. Drop the plastic ones. Just hold onto the glass ones. You know, it’s okay. The world is not gonna fall apart if you do. For a little bit. Yeah. And also sometimes speaking of that, things that feel more like a priority are spending quality time that isn’t breastfeeding with that baby or toddler.
Because that can really help with the guilt because that’s how we’ve spent a lot of our quality time. Yeah. And now that the breastfeeding aspect is removed, like when do you spend time together? So this is a good time to maybe do some low key hanging out with that kid in a different way. You know, I was gonna maybe recommend something a little different.
Really? I was, well, I was thinking when I really wanted to reduce how much Griffin was breastfeeding. Not ween entirely but like in the house. At home. It was nonstop that he wanted it because it was like every, everywhere I sat down in that house was like a nursing place, you know? And so I like took him to the splash pad every day, or like out in the woods or just doing something and leaving our comfort space.
So not low key. Right. Which, which is an, I mean, It was exhausting for me, but he asked to nurse like 95% less great because he was busy and distracted and he never asked to nurse when we were like out as much. And he was much more willing to listen to no, because I was like, not right now, but look, there’s the splash pad with other children.
Go run and scream your little head off, you know? That’s an option. Distraction, overstimulation and distraction if you can do it or, yeah, like. Taking the day off of being like, what if I, you know, we have something new and novel in our house. You know, and just for your baby to be excited about rearrange the furniture.
Oh God. Why do kids love that? They love it so much. Why? Why? I used to too. And my son asked me all the time, he’s like, can I rearrange my room? Like, dude, there’s like, I would let you see his room. How there’s no way to rearrange his room. It’s small and the furniture only fits where it’s Oh, Griffin. But yeah, they love rearranging the furniture.
And that disrupts your comfort spots. Mm-hmm. Make a new fort. Like take like what we do. We’re just having trouble existing in the house. So I have this couch that fits exactly somehow magically in this like square space. We pull it out from the wall and we make a blanket fort behind it also. Then we clean out under the couch, which is nice.
Mm-hmm. And the kids just hang out back there all day. And then I get to do whatever I want. Yeah. So I think a lot of also that that speaks to the part of reason for weaning, being that we feel very stuck. Yeah. We feel very bored and stuck in patterns that we don’t like that aren’t serving us anymore.
So really mixing it up is gonna be very good. Mm-hmm. But whatever you think you can handle and what your kid needs as far as like low key versus splash pad, you know, and maybe. Right. Maybe both. Like maybe one day you do the crazy stuff and the next day you’re like, we’re just gonna spend time together and read a bunch of books.
And this is also, I’m always a fan of phone a friend, you know? Yes. Like bring a best friend with you to the splash pad and have them help distract mm-hmm. The kid. So you’re not the most interesting person there. Yeah. That’s helpful. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Well, I. At the end of this, you’re like, I no longer feel guilty about just wanting to wean immediately right now.
Yeah, you can. Do you, yeah, we’re just saying take care of you and also be okay with whatever you emerges at the end of this process or during this process. Yeah, and you can also refer back I think it’s episode 10 as our breastfeeding older babies episode. We had some recent episodes on managing toddler behaviors.
We have another episode on just the history of weaning and how to wean, so make sure you go back and reference those so you kind of get all the information you need. Have your partner, listen to some of them if you think that would be useful. We’re really happy to help educate them too and reach out to us if you have a weaning problem that you want some help with.
Absolutely. And don’t forget, you need a primary care provider. Yes. So if you have not scheduled with a primary care provider and you were using your OB for the past year or however long as a primary care, you’re not pregnant anymore probably. Mm-hmm. And you really need a person who you can see for regular medical things.
So this is my little public service announcement. Go get yourself a family med physician, highly a nurse. Practi practitioner. Yeah. Well, there’s tons of really great nurse practitioners that own primary care mm-hmm. Businesses. Mm-hmm. You do not actually need a physician, but that is a great option if you need that.
But I, I love family medicine, you know, MDs DOs or NPs because, because they can also see your kids. Yes. And your husband and your wife and whoever. Yep. And we schedule back-to-back appointments. So we just all go in together and don’t leave the room, and we just, I’ll be like, okay, I’ll schedule mine at 2:30, my daughter’s at 3:00 and my son at 3:30.
And then we all just stay in the same room. Yep. It’s great. Me and my husband are that couple that get our well annual checks together and then we go to lunch. Yeah. I, I mean, really make sure you’re taking care of yourself at the very least. So that you have a number to call when something is wrong, even if you don’t want to do regular annuals and well care and whatever.
We’re big proponents of preventative care, but we understand that it is actually hard to make that happen sometimes. But I want you to have someone you feel comfortable calling if you’re experiencing a problem that is not an emergency. Okay. Good luck. You are worthy of whatever you want. Your body will be fine.
Your emotions will recover. Your vagina will be wet again, and your relationship will be different and fine, most likely, but it will not probably look like it was before kids. It might be better. Absolutely. Well, let’s take a little break and we’re gonna come back. We’re gonna read some Apple reviews and all that jazz.
If you’re pumping milk away from your baby at all at work or wherever you go, you deserve a bougie product. To make that easier for you, you deserve a Ceres Chiller and frankly, I could not live without one right now. The Ceres Chiller is an excellent way to store your breast milk safely, and it keeps your breast milk cold for 24 hours.
It is the only thing I use to transport my breast milk to and from work while I’m working. It’s got a sleek and beautiful design. Lots of great colors, high quality materials and manufacturing. Ceres Chill also has other products that you might wanna check out too. My personal favorite is the milk stash.
They have a great nipple shield that actually changes colors and it’s not clear like all the other ones. And you know how we feel about that. If you want to have your very own Ceres Chiller, please go to the link in our show notes and use code MILKMINUTE15 at checkout. That’s MILKMINUTE15 for 15% off your Ceres Chill products. Enjoy.
All right, welcome back everybody. We are gonna start off with our award in the alcove because you guys deserve to be celebrated. Big wins and small wins. Today we are giving an award to Ashley from our Facebook group because she just made it to two years of breastfeeding her little booby monster, and we are so proud.
Great job, Ashley. I’m commenting on your post right now letting you know that you won the award. Ashley, I would like to give you the Incredible Two Award because it’s pretty amazing that you made it this far, no matter how much further you decide to go. Yeah. Incredible too. That is a big number, especially considering you’re pregnant for almost a year before that.
That’s a lot of years of dedicating your body to somebody else. So good job. Absolutely. We’re super proud of you and if any of you guys out there want to nominate yourself or somebody else for an award, you can email us, you can comment on our Facebook group, you can join our Patreon and we will prioritize your awards.
Alright, I’m gonna close this out with an Apple review and it’s really sweet. This one is from Ash Gad Way. And Ashley, I think I know her and I’m pretty sure her name’s Ashley said, I started listening to Milk Minute podcast when I was pregnant. I remember thinking, how can there be a hundred plus episodes on breastfeeding?
Don’t you just put the baby on your boob? After my baby was born, I quickly realized how naive that. Thought was, so many difficulties can pop up. There are nuances to latching, pumping, bottle feeding, and a million other little things. Heather and Maureen don’t shy away from any topic and they’re incredibly thorough, evidence-based, inclusive in so many ways, and have a wealth of knowledge on all things lactation between the two of them.
My breastfeeding journey has not been an easy one. My baby didn’t latch for the first six. I was pumping, using formula and incredibly discouraged as none of this was my plan. I kept trying to latch my baby and one day at six weeks old, he latched. I know for a fact I would not have had the confidence to persevere and continue to pump and keep putting my baby to the boob without Heather and Maureen.
My baby is now four months old with the help of the Milk Minute Podcast and meeting with Heather one-on-one, which I also highly recommend. I was able to boost my supply enough to feed my baby with only my milk. I even have a freezer stash, which is small, but growing. If you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or just want a safe place to get the most up-to-date and tastefully delivered information on all things lactation, you’re in the right place.
Ashley. That was very sweet. Yeah. And detailed. I know. Great job, Ashley. Thank you so much. And these Apple reviews really help to support the show, everybody. And they do. How many do we have? Like over 400 now. We have so many and I really appreciate it. Easy, easy, free ways that you can support the show would be following our social media, commenting on posts and videos when you see them.
Saving them. On your social media, you know, there’s a save option on TikTok and whatever. Weirdly, that stuff boosts us more. I don’t know why. And also tell your providers sharing it, right? Just like texting the link to a friend that helps us. Tell your healthcare providers, tell your friends, leave us a review.
Press the little plus button on Apple to follow us. All that. We have 399 reviews, so if anyone could just round that out for us, that would be. Who’s gonna be 400? Who’s it gonna be? That’s very exciting. Well thank you guys so much for listening to another episode. The way we change this big system that is not set up for lactating parents is by educating ourselves.
Our loved ones are providers and anyone else that’ll listen. We would deeply appreciate it if you joined our Patreon at any level that we offer. That is one of the big ways that we support the show and that we can continue making episodes for you. Yes, we love you guys and we are so happy to do it.
Until next time. Bye-bye. Bye.
