Transcript:
Hey everybody, welcome back to the Milk Minute Podcast. I have a very special episode for you today. As some of you may know, Heather has had her baby and while she was doing that I kept a little captain’s log at her house. I had a mic set up in the next room and just did some periodic updates and we had our amazing audio editor pull that together for a little mini birth episode for you.
And we’re going to share it on here today. I think this is a really great little snippet of just what like midwifery care and home birth can look like. But if you want to hear more, and I know that you do, we are going to play her full extended birth story only on Beyond the Boob, which is a subscription only podcast.
Now, I know that not everybody can afford that, and I absolutely get it, but I really, really want you all to think whether or not you can consider becoming a member or a subscriber for a month to hear that episode. You can binge all of the other ones really fast if you want to and it will support Heather in her maternity leave because as you guys know, many of you own your own businesses and your entrepreneurs as well, just like Heather and I, and when you take maternity leave from your own business, there is nobody to pay your leave except for yourself.
So I’ve actually been making sure that this money from beyond the boob goes toward that for Heather. So she can have a really comfortable extended maternity leave with baby Martie as everybody should be able to. Now, if you guys want to do that, there’s two ways to access that podcast. You can subscribe directly on Apple podcasts, or you can join our Patreon.
And you can go to Patreon. com slash milk minute podcast. It’s right on there. And for 5 a month, you can access beyond the boob, but you also get a whole bunch of other stuff on Patrion and I’ve just been so excited to see our growth there. Our membership there has doubled since beyond the boob and it’s really fun.
You can see the new community that’s grown there. You guys also get access to like private messaging with us, which I just, it’s kind of the bee’s knees because I love getting to know you guys and we are happy to answer questions there for you, of course. And now the birth story episode that we are going to air over at Beyond the Boob next week is going to be like the full hour, every detail.
What was Heather thinking? What was I thinking? All of that. So if you want every single juicy bit of TMI. Go over there and listen to that next week. I, I can’t wait to share it with you. Okay, everybody. I won’t make you wait any longer for Heather’s mini birth story episode. Here it is.
Well, hey everybody. Welcome to Beyond the Boob. It’s week 39 and, and two. Yep. I’m squatting here on a yoga ball. Wondering if I’m peeing myself. In between some contractions, and we thought we’d make a little captain’s log for ya. Yes let’s see, captain’s log 644 PM. No, no, we should have to do military time if it’s a captain’s log.
Yeah, 1844. But yeah, we are likely at the beginning of this labor process. So we thought we’d do a little check in. Well, we’re kind of hoping we’re at the beginning of it, I guess. I’m still in denial. I’m actually kind of just happy that you’re laboring under delusion right now, because I think it makes it easier to manage.
But, but I think given what’s been going on, I’m, I’m fairly confident that like after all the children and whatnot are taken care of, things will progress. Hmm, there’s a lot going on here in the middle of the day. It’s, we’re not coming at you at two, two a. m. where everyone’s quiet on the western front.
There was also a hot air balloon festival. Oh, and every, yeah, and, and as much as we were like, we’re gonna hide my car in the garage so nobody sees. Within five minutes, every single person on your block knew I was here. Yeah. And all the kids are like, Come outside and see the hot air balloon over the house.
Mom, you’re gonna love it. You’re gonna love it so much. And I’m like, Okay. Hold on. Give me one second. Okay, we’re good. Yeah, so it’s a lot of activity, but that’s my life and it’s fine. You know, I love all these people Thank God because I’m kind of getting grumpy Which is great. I love I love the grumpiness It can tell me that we’re doing some hormonal stuff how there’s having a contraction right now And basically I’m just here because I live really far away So I don’t want to drive home yet till I’m sure that we are Not going to be in labor, and if we are, I’ll just stay.
I’m trying to help guard a little bit of space for Heather so she can continue to labor, drink, eat, stuff like that. And just kind of see if we can stay in this holding pattern until we can have a little more quiet and see what happens then. Yeah, she did these side releases on me, and put me into the fourth dimension.
That was weird. Yeah, yeah, we did some really good stretching. We did a little bit of, like, yoga and breathing, and did a little bit of knees chest time, and then I did side lying releases on Heather, that I think just, like, released your consciousness also. It was very strange. I was not here for a minute when you were rubbing that IT band and my belly and upper leg were dangling off the side of the bed.
I don’t know what was going on, but it definitely, I don’t know, it felt like a mile marker somewhere. I think it was good. I think it was really good. Yeah. And, and, you know, we did a check earlier today and we were at two centimeters and about 50 percent effaced, which is a great beginning. Tell them. You can tell them.
Tell them what? Tell them about my Rue day. Oh god. Well, okay. So, Heather’s cervix is always really posterior because of how her uterus is. And so, if, if anybody has familiarity with cervical exams at home, you know, to get a posterior cervix to the point where you can touch it, you kind of like, Walk your fingers up the vaginal rugae and like when we’re in this good hormonal state to begin labor Everything is really soft and flexible.
So as I was walking the cervix forward You know these like stretchy and my fingers are so lewd up that they kept getting like And I feel like, hold on, now I can’t move that one back forward to keep it going. This might be what they mean when they say throwing a hot dog down a hallway. No, but I mean, as much as it was like a very funny vaginal exam, it’s really great because that elasticity tells us that like your hormones are doing stuff, you know?
All that estrogen. Yeah, it would really suck if you checked me and you were like, It’s super tight. Everything’s tight. I’d be like, yeah. Yeah, and, and that would tell us, like, you just need to eat and go to bed. Yeah. But we’re not doing that. We’re here, I’m on this ball, and I’m in the last third of another contraction.
So, obviously they’re not to the point where I’m vomiting everywhere, but. They’re regular. Yeah, and I haven’t called in assistance yet, you know, because I also understand they’ve got families and stuff and I want to make sure that they have time to manage that and I don’t call anybody out to just turn around and go home.
Plus, this could not even be real. Yeah, this is definitely not real. We definitely don’t have my dad coming over to ask to use the dryer and people dropping off pizza. Kids running in and out of the house for hot air balloons. That’s not happening either. For sure not. But no, I, I really do. I, and I call it laboring under delusion because it’s funny to me, but I really do like, you know ignoring stuff as a tactic for early labor.
Right. So like we timed contractions for an hour and then we were like, cool, great. We’ve got contractions. They’ve got a regular pattern. That’s all we need to know. Now we’ll just ignore it. And honestly, when I was timing the contractions, even though I knew I was having one, I would feel guilty pushing the start button, thinking maybe it really wasn’t real.
Stop. Like, what the hell? You know what? It’s okay. You don’t have to justify your mindset right now. Oh, by the way, I recorded like three of them in that app and an alert popped up and it said, You should go to the hospital. Okay, this is the problem. Yeah, it is. This is the problem, folks. And it’s why people end up in the situation that you were in last time, where you were in the hospital at one centimeter.
Yeah, that sucked. Already, already further than that. Woohoo! Huzzah! Huzzah! Well I think we’ll sign off for now, and go eat some pizza, and hopefully check back in later with some progress. Alright I can’t wait to diarrhea it out later. Cause that’s also going on. Aren’t you glad you guys pay for this?
Alright, bye.
Hey everybody, it’s like one in the morning. And Heather’s still pretending that she’s not having a baby, but she’s having a baby. Okay, bye.
It is 126 AM. My sister and Abigail are both on their way. Heather’s really starting to enter labor land, and we are very excited for the progress. Oh,
hey everybody, it’s Maureen. I’m back at 150 AM. We are really having a baby pretty soon, and I’m a little actually afraid my assistant’s not gonna make it in time, which is fine. We’ve got extra help, but Anyway, so that’s your Captain’s Log update Saturday, October 14th. This is gonna be the day that Heather’s baby’s born.
All right everybody, it is about four in the morning. Oh, wow. And this little baby made her entrance at 2 11 this morning. And she’s here on my chest. And her name is Martha Vale O’Neill. And we’re gonna call her Martie. And I love her so much. And I’m so glad that’s over. It was really intense. And when I finally figured out I was in labor, it was not very long after that that she shot out of me like a torpedo.
I’m, I’m really impressed at how your denial was such a good pain management technique. I, I don’t know. It was, it was, I think the moment that I knew I was completely delusional was when I was leaning against the wall. the tub, willing the hose to fill it up faster and moaning really loud. And I thought to myself, wow, you sound so much like all the patients you’ve ever had that have been in transition as I’m vomiting.
And I was like, yeah, too bad. You’re probably going to be doing this for another eight hours. Well we’re not going to give you guys the full birth story right now. This is just kind of our little updates. Yeah, I’m tired. Yeah, Heather needs to go to sleep. Marty has breastfed a whole bunch, and she’s ready to sleep.
We’re about to have pancakes. My husband’s making pancakes. Yeah, and we’re, I’m just gonna stay, me and my assistant are just gonna have a nap here too. Check in on everybody in the morning before we go. So, goodnight everybody, and we will come back with the full birth story soon. I’m so happy. And everything is good, and I did not tear through my butthole.
Which, as you know, is my number one concern. And yeah, she’s perfect. And I’m so excited to tell you about it after I get some shut eye. Alright, we’ll see you guys soon!
